Who Doesn't Like a little Crack?
by Paint-The-World-Mad
Summary: "Dean accidentally hooks up with a darling albino in a bar, but doesn't realize that he would be hunting that boy the very next day." Dean Winchester x Dave Strider. 100% crack. Please don't take it seriously, read it for the LOLz. (rated T for some mild language and sexual themes) (also Destiel is endgame here)
1. Chapter 1

(A/N) okay so I hate author's notes as much as the next guy, but if you actually clicked on this thing then good for you, have some more backstory real quick. first word of buisness I DO NOT ACTUALLY SHIP THIS. it's crack, 100% pure, unadulterated crack. anywho, my sister was playing Sims and this accidentally happened and so then obviously I had to write a fic about it. (who wouldn't? it's hilarious). So bear with me. (it'll probably be a two-shot)

* * *

He was spending what he hoped was to be a peaceful evening in a bar with his brother. Everything that he could have hunted had been hunted and they'd decided to turn in for the night, satisfied with their work. He was just about to hit up the bartender (she wasn't the most attractive person by his standards, but he was in the mood), when the stool next to him became occupied. He glanced over to see a young man—not too much younger than him, but young enough that he still had that boyish apparatus about him—with white blond hair and aviators hiding his eyes. Dean snorted to himself, there had been many a day he'd mocked people who wore sunglasses at night, and here this kid was wearing them both at night and indoors. He must be some sort of conceited asshole, Dean thought, raising his glass to his lips.

"Hey bro, no need to gawk, I'll be here all night," the guy said, catching Dean off-guard. He nearly choked on his drink as he turned back to the white-haired boy, who had a smug expression. Or at least, the corners of his mouth were turned up, Dean couldn't see his eyes. Not that he was looking at the guy's mouth or anything.

Dean scoffed and turned away from the cocky young man. "Don't flatter yourself, buddy. I've seen better." He realized the moment after he said it that it was certainly not the right thing to say if he wanted to end the conversation between him and this other guy. His statement only provoked the guy into proving that he was the best Dean had seen—talk about over confidence.

"Oh really? Are you talking about the guy you see in the mirror every day? Because dang son, he's certainly one of the best I've seen." The guy grinned, his head resting on his hand which was propped up by his elbow resting on the bar.

Dean forced a laugh. "Are you hitting on me?"

"Maybe, maybe not. Do you want me to?"

And now the spotlight was on him. Did he want this (admittedly attractive) boy to be hitting on him? He had recently admitted to himself that he was bi, so it wasn't the fact that he was a guy that was holding him back. What exactly was holding him back, he couldn't really tell. So he decided to take the ambiguous route.

"Depends on what you're offering," Dean said, taking another drink of his beer.

"Gog, you're making me sound like a prostitute," the other guy said.

"You very well could be," Dean pointed out. "I'm just saying that I know nothing about you. You showed up, hit on me, and you expect me to not make assessments?" he shook his head in playful disdain. "I expected more from you."

The blond sat up. "Hey, to my defense, I came in here to get a drink and the next thing I know, the guy next to me is checking me out, so I think I have the right to be a little flirtatious."

"I'm not saying that you don't. I'm just saying-"

"-that you have no idea who I am. Well, hello, stranger, my name is Dave." the blond held out his hand in greeting, which Dean accepted, albeit somewhat awkwardly (shaking hands in a bar is actually the last thing he thought he would be doing tonight).

"I'm Dean," he said in response.

"Dean…" Dave mused. "That's a neat name, I like it."

"Is Dave short for David, then?"

Dave chuckled, "Nah. My bro named me and he's not really into the whole biblical scene."

"I see," Dean said. "So, uh, you doing anything later?"

Dave grinned, "Now who's the flirtatious one?"

"Oh shut up, we were already flirting," Dean said. His stomach turned over. Was it because he was being too forward? Was it something else? He decided to push it aside. "And you never answered my question."

"I never did, did I?" Dave said. "Well, as a matter of fact, my alien friends will probably stop annoying me for a few days, so no. I'm not doing anything later." He smirked under those ridiculous shades that Dean couldn't help but want to rip off his smug little face. "Would you like to change that?"

Hell. freaking. yes.

/\/\/\/

Sam had only rolled his eyes when Dean said he'd be home late and shooed him away with well wishes for him and his new boyfriend. When Dean argued that they most certainly were not that serious, Sam only laughed and told him that he better not let Cas catch him with this guy or he was in for trouble. Dean honestly didn't know why Cas would care.

"Where, exactly, are we going?" Dean asked after sliding into the passenger seat of Dave's car (he wasn't used to riding shotgun, especially with as young as this guy was).

"My bro's throwing a massive party right now and I figured 'what the hell? maybe I should take you,'" Dave said. "It'll be totally sick, believe me." Dave said, driving out of the parking lot of the bar. Dean supposed he should add the fact that Dave was sober to the reasons why he was driving instead of himself.

A stray thought crossed Dean's mind. "So, if your brother's party is so 'sick,' why aren't you there already?" he asked. It was a valid question.

Dave shrugged. "Didn't have a date. My bro probably would have been totally chill with it, but you know how it is."

Yeah, Dean knew. He didn't have to put up with it a whole lot, but he knew the feeling. So he smiled. "Will there be food?"

Dave grinned. "Tons."

Not terribly long later they pulled into the driveway of a very large apartment complex. It bore a great resemblance to normality, all except for the flashing lights and heavy-based music coming from the roof. "I'll take it it's a roof party?" Dean asked, sliding out of the car.

Dave chuckled, "yeah. We've got an apartment on the top floor so we basically control the roof. It's a pretty sweet gig." He motioned for Dean to follow him up into the building.

"You're brother's going to be cool with me being your date and all, right?" Dean asked out of a random moment of unsurity. he really had no idea what the heck this was all coming from, but his stomach kept turning. He decided to blame it on the drink and push it aside.

Dave snorted. "Psh, yeah he'll be fine. My bro is hella gay, he really doesn't care." They stepped out of the elevator and into a long hallway with yellow walls and horrible red carpet. Dave scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, "Ignore the decorations, it's a pretty shit apartment." he was queit for about five seconds before cursing under his breath and muttering something like "gog I hope he didn't invite them" before turning back to Dean. "So, there's these people that my bro probably invited and they have this weird, uh, cultural quirk let's call it that, where they think that "party" means "dress up as weird as you possibly freaking can" so if anybody has gray skin and/or polkadotted pants, don't get freaked out, okay?" Dave looked really concerned about this.

"That sounds alright," Dean said. "Like I said, I'm just here for the food."

Dave smirked, "Yeah right. You agreed before you even knew where we were going."

Dean did not have a good retort to that.

Dave laughed. "Dude, you look so flustered, it doesn't suit you." he stopped in front of one of the doors and punched a few digits into the number lock before opening the door. "Right this way," he said motioning Dean inside.

"Are you sure you're not just leading me to your room under the guise of this party?" Dean asked, following Dave into the small apartment.

Dave turned back and shot Dean a look, his shades garing white in the light, and his mouth twisted into a playfully seductive smirk. "Well that depends on what you're asking," he said.

"Depends on what you're offering," Dean retorted, winking.

Dave's head turned away, but Dean could have sworn he saw the younger man's face flush. _Score!_ he thought, following Dave through the small apartment. He took Dave's temporary silence as an opportunity to look around. The apartment would have seemed relatively normal. It was a disaster, but that was sort of expected. If he and Sam were to ever actually stop moving around and get a place like this it would probably also be a mess-actually no. Sam is way to organized for that. But this place was a vastly different kind of mess. There were weapons of all sorts just _laying around_. And accompanying the weapons was a vast assortment of-he didn't know what the heck they were. They looked like brightly colored stuffed toys with noses that protruded a little too far and asses that were a little too pronounced.

Dave noticed his gawking and chuckled. "Admiring the smuppets? They're my bro's. I can't stand them," he said.

"Smuppets? What kind of a person is your brother?"

"Hell I don't even know." Dave laughed. "Tell you what. I introduce you to him, and _you_ try and make a conjecture as to what kind of person he is."

"Challenge accepted," Dean said as he followed Dave through a door and up a few flights of stairs.

"So, uh, I have a lot of really weird friends and they're probably all here." Dave said.

"You said that already. Gray skin and polka-dotted pants, right?" Dean said. He wasn't sure why Dave was so reserved about this, he'd seen enough weird shit to last a lifetime. Weirdos in costume was certainly the least of his concerns.

Dave chuckled awkwardly, "Yeah, that. Also there's this blind girl and she's really freaking weird. If she tries to lick you, don't be alarmed. I mean, don't let her lick you, but just know that it's nothing out of the ordinary."

Dean nodded. "I'll see what I can do." He laughed to himself as he imagined introducing Dave to his family. ' _My mostly normal little brother, and my Angel-I mean, Castiel. He's socially awkward and doesn't really understand pop culture or idioms or basically anything. He's great though, I promise.'_

"What's so funny?" Dave asked, turning to him quizzically just as he approached the door that presumably led to the roof. The muffled sound of booming music reverberated through the walls and the floor underneath Dean's feet.

"Nothing, I was just making fun of myself. Let's get this party started."

The smile that crossed Dave's face was nothing short of endearing. "You are my kind of guy." Dean's stomach turned over again. What he wouldn't give to take those retarded glasses off his face and take a look at Dave's eyes.

"I'm flattered, really," he said, as Dave opened the door and the cool night air flooded into the stairwell. Music flooded his ears-it was a song Dean had never heard. An elated cry rose from the people on the roof as he and Dave walked into the semi-crowded party scene. If Dean hadn't already trained himself to tune in on minute head gestures (thanks Cas), then he wouldn't have noticed Dave scanning the crowd quickly and then his shoulders relaxing when he either found (or didn't find) whatever it was he was looking for. Of course, this only peaked Dean's curiosity.

A girl with long, dark hair, big round glasses and (strangely enough) dog ears attached to the top of her head ran over and threw her arms around Dave's shoulders all the while squealing his name. She released him very shortly after and turned to Dean.

"Ohmygosh Dave, who's your boyfriend?" She asked, eyeing Dean in the most innocent way possible.

"Dean Winchester," He said, holding out his hand in greeting. She took it and shook vigourously.

"Hi, I'm Jade, it's good to meet you," she said.

"Hey Jade,"

The girl looked over at Dave, who beckoned her to come closer. He whispered something to her while her eyebrows rose, before her face turned back to one of determination. "Yeah, yeah I get it, I'll go find him."

"Find who?" Dean asked.

"My, uh, boyfriend." Jade said, nodding as Dave visibly winced. "See you later Dave, don't get too crazy." She winked before running away again, her black dress billowing out behind her.

Dave forced a laugh, "Now that that's out of the way, how about I show you around? Maybe make this significantly less awkward."

Dean laughed, "Sounds swell to me."

/\/\/\/

A couple hours and a few drinks later, Dean was talking with one of the gray-skinned fellows (they really had some intensive dedication to their makeup) about something, the conversation didn't make a ton of sense. The girl was babbling away about something or other, her unnaturally sharp teeth glaring in the dim, artificial lights. Dean made some passing comment about her tail that kept moving about with her excitement to which she launched into this rant about how her "moirail" (whatever the hell that was) made it for her when he accidentally broke her back hugging her.

Fraking mental.

She was called away again by another one of the gray-skinned people (a tall, muscular man with hair that was a little too long, in Dean's opinion), so he stood up and went to find Dave. His knees almost buckled at first, he really had had too much to drink. Dave was sitting against a wall on the edge of the party, staring blankly into the crowd.

Dean came over and sat next to him. "Hey."

"Hey."

They were quiet for a moment, and Dean looked into the crowd. It wasn't long until he noticed that Dave had a very clear shot of this group of four people, who were talking, laughing, and carrying on. Of the four, Dean recognized two. One was the dark haired boy with glasses that Dave had introduced as, John, was it? John had his arm around the shoulders of one of the gray-skinned girls with mismatched candycorn horns and glasses that had one lense filled in. The other one he recognized was the blind girl who was pestering a grouchy, gray skinned fellow with short, stubby candycorn horns. Though he did appear to be thoroughly annoyed by her advances, Dean could tell that his efforts to shoo her away were only half-hearted.

"You okay, dude?" Dean asked.

"Yeah fine, why?" Dave replied, as he turned toward Dean. His voice was slurred with the alcohol, and his white-blond hair was mussed in an (annoyingly) adorable way.

"Nothin', you just looked a little out of it." Dean said. He didn't take his gaze away from the younger man, but instead watched his own reflection in the boy's glasses in a desperate search to catch a glimpse of his eyes.

Dave must have caught on to this. "You lookin' for somethin', lover boy?" he asked, scooting closer to Dean so their legs and shoulders were pressing together.

"Yeah, actually. Can I see your eyes? You've been wearing those ridiculous shades all night, and…" Dean trailed off, not really knowing how to end that sentence.

Dave smirked. "And you think I'll look sexy without them," he finished.

Dean couldn't deny the truth to that statement. "Nah, I'm just curious to see who exactly I've been talking to all night," he answered, trying to keep his cool.

Dave chuckled lightly and sat back. "I guess you've earned it, but you better feel freaking special," he said, reaching up and removing the aviators from his face.

Dean was not entirely prepared for the events that followed.

His breath caught in his throat as green eyes stared into red ones. He reached up and gently stroked Dave's shaggy bangs out of his face, careful to never break eye contact. "You have...your eyes, they're…"

"Red? strange? demonic? albino?" Dave said, trying to finish Dean's sentence.

"Quite stunning actually," Dean said. "In a good way."

Dave laughed softly. "Really?"

"Really." Dean hesitated. "Do you mind if I…?" His hand still resting in Dave's hair, he drew the blond ever so slightly toward him.

"Go right ahead," Dave said. Dean could have sworn he saw Dave's eyes flick right toward the party before they closed and their lips met.

It was a soft kiss. Sweet, gentle, innocent. It was also the first time Dean had ever kissed a man and, to say the least, he was not disappointed. Dave broke it off after not very long and pressed his forehead to Dean's their alcohol-tinged breath mingling in the cool night air.

"Do you mind if I…?" Dave asked, one of his hands moving from his side to the back of Dean's neck.

"Go right ahead," Dean said and he closed his eyes and again pressed his mouth against Dave's.

Dean did not very clearly remember coming inside, but here he was, in what was presumably Dave's room, pressing the boy against a wall as the blond fumbled with the buttons of Dean's shirt, their mouths locked together in a dance of tongues and old whiskey.

He felt soft hands on his bare chest and back and Dave pulled them closer together, eliciting a soft moan from Dean. He was just working his hands under the fabric of Dave's shirt when he heard an all-too-familiar fluttering behind him, and suddenly they were not alone in the room.

"Dean, what are you doing?" Cas' deep voice shook the relative silence of the dark room. Dean broke away from the younger boy and turned back to the angel to see what could have only been a mixture of shock and hurt on his face. Shock, Dean expected. Hurt, that was shocking.

"Holy Fraking Jegus man, where the frak did you come from?" Dave exclaimed, his eyes trained on the newcomer.

"I came from across town," Cas replied.

Dave muttered something his breath which sounded oddly like "don't need any more Egderps jumping dimensions I have enough to deal with"

"What the Hell, Cas?" Dean said, frantically working to rebutton his shirt. "I can have one night to myself, can't I?"

Now it was Cas' turn to look flustered. "Yes, Dean, you can, but Sam told me who you were with, and I became worried for your safety."

"Worried for my-? How the hell is being with Dave worrying?"

"Do you know nothing about him?" Cas asked, glowering momentarily at Dave, who threw up his hands in self-defense and innocence. "You spent the entire night with his friends and family, people who, on a regular basis, you would be trying to kill."

"Woah, Kill?" Dave threw a worried glance at Dean.

"I wouldn't kill any of them, Cass. Dammit you sound just like Sam."

"Sam shares the same sentiments," Castiel said. "He sent me after you just as much as I came of my own will. Now let me take you home." He stepped toward Dean, one hand outstretched.

Dean looked over at Dave, who's eyes were wide with confusion. "I guess I have to go now," He said as Cas pressed his fingers to Dean's temples and they were whisked away to a shabby motel room across town.

How sad it was that the first thing he thought was that he didn't get Dave's number.

Sam jumped up immidiately and began lecturing Dean about the dangers of trusting people like that and weren't the shades indication enough that you shouldn't have gone with him? you could have gotten yourself killed etc etc.

Dean wasn't really listening, until Sam said one thing.

"Most of them weren't human. They're trolls, aliens from another planet, and rumor has it, they're not incredibly hospitable."

That's why, later that night, when he was crawling into bed and noticed that Dave had slipped a piece of paper with his cell number on it into his pocket, the first thing he did was send this:

[ Dave, I have questions for you. Meet me at the diner on 5th west at 1. -Dean ]


	2. Chapter 2

(A/N) So remember when I said this was going to be a 2-shot? I might have lied just a little. But to my defense, the universe shoved this beautiful plot into my face and I couldn't resist. So bear with me.

* * *

He stole another glance at the clock. 1:05. Not that it was terribly late, but he was getting anxious about this whole thing. He forced himself to calm down as he looked again (for reassurance's sake) at his phone where Dave's reply was still open. He read it again.

[Yeah, I'll be there. As long as you answer my questions in return]

He'd thought long and hard about how to answer Dave's questions. And he'd come up with no good replies. Cas literally flew in, and then flew him out. There really wasn't much to explain, other than, "oh yeah, he's an angel," which Dave would hardly accept as an answer.

He shifted uncomfortably and cast a glance toward the counter. They sure were taking a long time with his burger. He turned back to the table and fiddled with the sleeves of his shirt.

The bell on the door rang as it opened, and Dean twisted around to see who had entered. He was pleased to see Dave's white-blond hair and aviators. Dave glanced around the room until he saw Dean, and walked over. He slid into the booth across from him and propped his elbows onto the table.

A small smile crossed his face. "So, how hungover are you?"

Dean groaned. "You have no idea."

Dave laughed. "You bet I do. Gog, the whole house was a fraking mess. I had to clean up so much vomit I cannot express to you how horrid that was."

"Ah hell man, that sounds awful," Dean laughed in response.

"Frak man you don't even know. Troll vomit is something else."

Troll vomit? Dean heard Sam's voice in his head, " _they're trolls, aliens from another planet."_ Maybe his brother was right? Any which way, it required further investigation. Dean raised an eyebrow. "Troll vomit?" he tried to sound as casually curious as possible.

Dave froze for half a second before relaxing again and chuckling. "Yeah, troll vomit. You know those weird friends of mine with the grey skin and the horns? The grey paint gets everywhere and it leaves some gross-as-frak messes. Not to mention that they're ridiculously committed to making and eating this weird ass gelatinous green goop-or, some of them are anyway." He shook his head and looked back at Dean. "Anywho, you called me here because you had questions. Ask away."

"Actually, I was going to ask you about your trollish friends," Dean said. "I've caught word that they're not quite human." The direct approach. He guessed it worked as well as anything.

Dave laughed, though it did not sound quite natural. "Really? I guess I should have expected you to ask about that. They're actually, well…" he paused, staring at something to his left. "You know Furries, right?"

"Those people that are convinced they're animals?"

"Yeah them. Well, they're sort of like them, but their complex isn't animals. They think that they aren't human, so they've formed this band sort of and they paint themselves grey and wear horns to "express their individuality" or some shit like that. They're totally normal, but people just think they're weirdos so there's a lot of weird ass rumors like that." Dave shrugged. "I figured you'd ask."

"Uh huh." Dean nodded. It wasn't unreasonable, which would make it a convenient lie, but at the same time, it also made it a feasible truth. He would have to probe further. "Is there a particular reason you associate with them, or..?" Dean left the question open with a semi-dismissive wave of his hand. He hoped Dave accepted his unsaid "acceptance"of his explanation.

"Ah. yes, that…" Dave sighed and absently scratched the back of his head. "Let's just say it's a long frakking story. The short version is that I met a lot of them online-I use 'met' loosely, mind you-and eventually we met in person and my best friend started dating one of them so now we're all awkwardly friends."

Dean sat back. "Makes sense." Something about the younger boy's tone amused him. "You said that with some venom, Dave."

"Said what?"

"Here's your order sir, can I get something for your friend?" The waitress said, setting Dean's burger down in front of him.

"I'll have whatever he's having. And a glass of AJ, thank you." Dave said. The waitress nodded and hurried away. Dave turned back to Dean, "My question still stands."

Dean chuckled, as he picked up his burger, eyeing it hungrily. It'd been too long since he'd had a quality burger, and this one looked promising. "When you said that your friend was dating one of the 'trolls,' you said it with a good deal of ferocity," he said, before biting into his burger.

"Oh," Dave forced a laugh. "Yeah. That's 'cause the girl he's dating is a total bitch. Like, take the bitchiest bitch you have ever met and raise that to the eighth power of ultimate bitchiness."

Dean raised an eyebrow as a substitution for words-his mouth was full of delicious burger, after all. Dave took the hint and explained further.

"Okay, so I know we were hella drunk last night so I'm not expecting you to remember shit, but do you remember the one troll kid in the wheelchair?" Dave asked. Dean nodded slowly. "Okay, well he's paralyzed from the waist down because one day he and Vriska-she's the bitchy one-and a few others were LARPing-they're hardcore LARPers you don't even know-and they got into some sort of heated argument and she pushed him down a flight of stairs and ever since he's been paralyzed."

"Was it unintentional, though?" Dean asked.

Dave laughed. "I wish. I mean, I wasn't there, I didn't know them at the time, but it was far from unintentional. I think that her character pushed him off a "cliff,"" Dave made air quotes with this fingers, "with the intention of killing his character. And ever since then she mocks him ceaselessly about how useless he is now that he can't walk. I'm telling you, she wins all the awards for bitchiness."

Dean smirked, "I actually think I have a contender for you."

Dave raised an eyebrow, "Oh really?"

"Yes, really. My brother dated this girl once, let's see, how do I describe her…?" Dean realized too late that he'd dug himself into a bit of a hole. He couldn't describe Ruby without saying that she was a demon, and most of the things she'd done to make her such an intolerable bitch were supernatural in nature. "She manipulated him into doing a lot of really horrible things and got him addicted to a couple really bad drugs." He shook his head, realizing he'd need to change the topic soon or else face the consequences of Dave's curiosity. "She's gone now, thankfully, though my brother had to deal with rehab for a couple years. But the real question is, if this chick," he gestured at Dave, indicating that he'd changed the topic back to his friend's girlfriend, "is such a bitch, what does your friend see in her?"

"I don't know man, they couldn't be more different." Dave snorted. "I suspect it has something to do with their mutual worship of Nick Cage, but other than that I have no idea."

The waitress came by, setting Dave's burger down in front of him, to which he said a polite thank you before turning back to Dean. "While we're rapidly changing topics," He smirked under his dark glasses. Dammit, he'd caught on to Dean's sudden topic change. "I still have questions for you about some of the events from last night."

Shit. He thought Dave had forgotten. "Yeah, I figured. Shoot," he said, trying to sound as calm as possible.

"That guy that showed up literally out of nowhere and then touched your forehead or some shit like that and you two vanished. What the actual frak was that?" Dave was not shitting around here.

He was so screwed. Majorly screwed. "Are you sure you're remembering that right? I mean, we were both drunk out of our minds, and I'm pretty sure I walked out of there."

Dave eyed him suspiciously. "Yeah I guess that's possible." He shrugged and picked up his burger. "Well enough of that, this thing here is calling my name."

/\/\/\/

"He _what?"_ Dean said, covering his mouth so his food wouldn't come flying out with the burst of laughter that erupted from his throat.

Dave clapped as he laughed, "He started crying too! Man it was so funny, I felt bad for the salamanders. And I don't even like lizards! They're practically puppet status."

"That's pretty low," Dean said. "You know, the more you talk, the more I wonder how the hell you and John are even friends."

"Oh Gog, I don't even know. He's just… I dunno man sometimes you and a person just click, you know?" Dave said. He glanced out the window to where the dark-haired girl with the big, round glasses was pressing her face to the window. Both men nearly jumped out of their skin while the girl laughed on the other side of the glass. "Dammit Jade!" Dave cursed, grinning before motioning her inside. The girl ran around and into the door.

"I met her last night, right?" Dean asked.

"Yeah, she was the one with the dog ears and the striped tights," Dave said.

"Riiiiight, yeah okay I remember now."

The dark-haired girl bounced over to them and slid into the booth next to Dave. "Hi boys! I hope you don't mind me interrupting your date!"

"Gog, Jade, it isn't a date," Dave said, rolling his eyes. She giggled and punched him in the shoulder.

"It's totally a date, you doofus." She giggled and pushed a stray clump of hair out of her eyes. "Okay but Karkles wants you home. Davesp-David and Terezi have been on a detective justicy trip and so of course Karkles is flipping the heck out and basically wants you home right now."

"UUGGHH." Dave dropped his head down and his forehead hit the table with a decisive whacking sound. "They've found something bad, haven't they?"

Jade nodded. "Incredibly. I think David is still out. Terezi's home though, you can ask her about it."

Dave picked his head up and stared longingly at the last, small portion of his burger. "Fine, fine I'll come home." He looked back at Dean. "I am so fraking sorry, man. But I think I've wasted enough of your time."

"Don't worry about it, Dave," Dean said as the three of them stood and began to walk toward the door. "Go and deal with your unruly detectives. Sam probably wants me back anyway." Dean shrugged.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" Dave asked as they stood on the sidewalk, ready to part ways.

Dean smirked. "Depends on what you're offering."

Dave returned the look. "Oh baby, I'm offering everything."

"Daaaaave!" Jade squealed. The two boys laughed.

"I'll text you." Dave said as he and Jade turned and walked away.

"You'd better," Dean said.

/\/\/\/

"So. How was your date?" Sam asked as Dean entered their shabby motel room.

"Pretty good. I think I got something stuck to my shoe on the way out, though," Dean said, wandering over to his bed and sitting down across from Sam who had his laptop open, browsing the web. Probably something to do with Dave and the trolls or just other things to hunt.

"Think? Have you checked?" Sam asked, looking up from his computer.

"It's kind of hard to," Dean replied. "Have you had any luck?"

"A moderate amount. You?"

"He says they're like furries, but have an alien complex."

Sam was quiet for a moment. "That could either be entirely true or a convenient lie."

"I'm aware."

"If it's true, why didn't he tell you that right off?"

Dean shrugged, "Convenience maybe?" he pulled out his phone. If there was someone following them, they needed to look and sound as innocent as possible. He texted Sam.

[he said that "terezi and David" are into some "detective work" and that David is "still out, but Terezi is home."]

He sent the text with a flash of fear that Sam's phone was not on silent. He breathed a sigh of relief when he heard nothing.

"Who are you texting?"

"Dave."

Sam raised an eyebrow. "Still? I thought you were a hit-it-and-run kind of guy."

Dean forced a laugh. "Yeah, but maybe he's different."

"Special?"

"Something like that."

Sam glanced down at his phone. He shut his laptop off and leaned back in his chair, his phone in hand. It was not long before Dean received a reply.

{So you've taken that to mean that he's tailing us? It's a reasonable assumption, i suppose}

[we should just be careful. If they're as dangerous as you suspect them of being, there's a good chance one of them will try to kill us if they figure out what we are]

{Point taken.}

Sam hadn't looked up from his phone (which was still thankfully on silent) and he sat scrolling through something-who freaking knew what he got up to). "What are you and Dave talking about?"

"Uh, plans for tomorrow."

Sam laughed. "Wow, you two are serious about this."

Dean shrugged. "Like I said, I like him."

"Hmm." Sam's brow furrowed momentarily before he relaxed and smirked at Dean. "Look at that, my brother's got himself a boyfriend."

"He's not my boyfriend." Dean rolled his eyes.

"If you deny this much longer it'll be just like you and Cas."

"Wh-what? Cas and I never-, we didn't-" Dean could feel his face turning red. "Okay look. Cas is my friend-OUR friend. I don't have any sort of romantic feelings for him. It's an entirely different situation with Dave. He's...He's different, okay?"

"Whatever you say," Sam said with a slight shake of his head.

In Dean's hand, his phone buzzed again.

{Don't let your feelings get the better of you, Dean. If he's a threat, we'll still have to get rid of him.}


	3. Chapter 3

(a/n) sorry for the late update, crap gets busy, man. Also I'm going to apologize for the ooc-ness of everyone from the spn-verse, I haven't watched supernatural in like, a year and a half.

but yeah here you go.

* * *

"Well, Dean, it appears you're in luck," Sam said, looking up from the white glare of his laptop, where he had been staring all evening.

"Oh really?"

"Yeah, so get this-there have been reports around town that these little black men dressed in brightly colored costumes have been terrorizing people. Apparently they only showed up a few days ago." Sam looked back down at his laptop.

"Really? Is that our kind of thing? I mean, do we know anything about this sort of thing? What are they?" Dean asked, interested.

"A lot of people are calling them "gremlins," but I can't see any clear evidence of what we're actually dealing with. The reports vary too much."

Dean raised an eyebrow. "Vary how, exactly?"

"All sorts of things. Some people say they look like dogs, or harlequins, or they have wings or they're very slim or very fat. Basically anything you can think of, it's been reported."

"So are we taking accuracy based on pure numbers?"

"Probably."

Dean sat back. "So how do we kill them? any ideas?"

Sam laughed, "No idea. And I thought we were being careful about saying things like that."

"Right. Yeah. About that."

"Anyway, you should call around and see if anyone knows anything. I'll keep browsing the web," Sam said.

"Yeah okay. I'll see if Cas knows anything," Dean said, standing up.

"Does he have a phone on him?"

"Well I gave him one, so he'd better." Dean pulled out his phone and dialed, then held it to his ear as it rang.

"You're planning to see Dave today, right?" Sam asked.

"Yeah-Cas! Hey buddy I'm glad you actually picked up!"

"Dean? What do you need? Why did you call me on this device, you know you can-"

"Yeah yeah I know, Cas. Just listen for a moment, okay?"

"Okay Dean, I am listening."

Dean felt a small, involuntary smile tugging at his mouth. "Can you tell me anything about little, black, gremlin men? Apparently they've been running rampant on this city and freaking out the locals."

Cas was quiet for a moment, Dean could only hear the steady breaths of his friend on the other end of the line. "Have you seen any of them Dean? Have they found you yet?" His voice was almost frantic.

"Dude, chill, I haven't seen anything yet. What's the big deal?"

"They're otherworldly creatures, they should not exist in this plane of existance-Dean, are you still corresponding with the blond boy?"

"Dave? Yeah I am. Why does this matter?"

"I'm coming over there right now."

"Wait, Cas-"

There was a brief whirring and fluttering of feathered wings and suddenly Castiel was standing in front of him, still holding the cellphone to his ear.

"Hello Dean."

"Dammit Cas, we're trying to be discreet here." Dean scowled as he ended the call with the angel who was, inconveniently, standing right infront of him.

"Discreet about what, Dean?" Cas asked. God, he looked so fraking innocent. Sam snickered.

Dean grabbed Cas' arm and pulled him closer to him. "We're being followed, we need to be discreet about this hunt. You've got to look like a normal human for a few days, got it?" He whispered. He lingered, just for a moment as Cas nodded, the soft smell of cinnamon and watermelon filling his senses. He then backed away, nodding curtly.

"Well, our cover's probably been blown anyway," Sam said. He wasn't even trying to hide the smirking now. Dean didn't understand why, he'd told Sam many a time that there was _nothing_ going on between him and his angel-I mean Cas. "You did say that he said they'd found something bad, right? Could be they found out about us."

"Who is they?" Cas asked, looking between the two brothers.

"Dave and Jade. It's their people that are following us. Not that I really blame them…" Dean mumbled. He tried to fight the rush of blood to his face, he was giving Dave WAY too much credit here. And furthermore developing a soft spot? Unheard of!

"Dean, this is very bad."

"I heard you the first time, Cas. What do you have against him?" Dean's eyes bored into Cas' and the Angel, much to Dean's surprise, stared back with full intensity. "You keep making all these accusations, but they're empty unless you tell me why I can't trust him, Cas. Honestly you're beginning to sound pitiful."

"Or jealous," Sam muttered, earning a warning glance from Dean.

"Do you know nothing?" Cas asked, his eyes incredulous. "He's barely human anymore, and his friends-"

"Are weird alien trolls yeah I get that part. But he's still human isn't he? We don't mess with humans-or at least, we don't like to. So he's not on the bill to be shanked."

"Dean, clearly you don't understand-"

"Well then explain it to me, Cas! So far you've done a pretty piss-poor job of that!" He didn't want to be yelling at Cas, but the angel wasn't giving him many other options. The guilty knot in his stomach tightened, much to his dismay.

"I…" Cas looked over at Sam, before bowing his head. "I can't. I don't know enough. I'm sorry, Dean."

"Well then I'm going to continue seeing Dave, and see if we can get any leads either onto his wackadoo friends or the gremlins. And if you'll excuse me, I have to go meet him." The knot in his stomach spread to a sharp pain in his chest.

The feet of Sam's chair scraped across the ground. "Dean, wait. You should take me and Cas too, we can go investigate the hotspot of gremlin activity while you talk to Dave."

"Yeah that sounds cool," Dean said as he pulled his leather jacket on over his flannel shirt. "Let's do this, then."

/\/\/\/

"Take a left here," Sam said.

"Where exactly am I taking you again?" Dean asked, following Sam's directions and directing the Impala into the turn lane.

"An apartment building. Most of the distress calls came from the residents, so I figured that it would be the best place to start," Sam answered.

"Okay okay cool." Dean said. The car elapsed back into silence.

"It should be the next right," Sam said, glancing up from the map on his phone. "It's a pretty tall building, called "Willow Place" or something cheesy like that."

"Uh-huh," Dean said, turning the car right down the street Sam had indicated. "This Willow Place?" he asked, pulling into the parking lot of a tall apartment building. An unsettling feeling clutched his stomach for a moment as he opened the door and climbed out of the car, followed by Sam and Cas.

"This is the one," Sam said.

"Awesome," Dean breathed.

"Dean, you seem unsettled," Cas said. Damn him, he was too sensitive to the mood.

Dean coughed, clearing his throat. "Uh, no. This is just, well, Dave's apartment complex." he said, looking up the tall walls of the building, and suddenly seeing flashing lights against a dark sky in his mind's eye. It was beginning to seem like there was no way he could get away from Dave's supposed inhumanity.

Sam let out a sharp breath. "Well then. That certainly complicates things, doesn't it?"

"Probably. Tell you what, you two continue your investigation as planned, and I will see what I can get out of Dave."

"Works for me. We'll go in first, you follow in a few."

"Sweet. Keep in touch, Sammy. If you get attacked I'll be there to bail you out."

Sam chuckled somewhat awkwardly. "Sure thing, Dean." He and Cas turned toward the building and began walking toward it, quietly discussing what was probably tactics and roles to play. Dean leaned up against the hood of his car and stared wistfully at the building. His eyes rolled up the steep, geometric walls before they traced the outline of the roof, reminiscing about a night not so long ago…

Something moved in the corner of his eye. He turned his head just in time to see a small body running along the length of the roof of a nearby building. The person was wearing all blue, and hard to see against the sky. Nonetheless, when s/he reached the edge of the building, Dean could see as s/he simply leapt into the air and seemingly flew up into the sky toward the roof of Dave's apartment building. Dean stared wide-eyed as the person passed in front of a cloud and he could clearly make out the person's form, as well as the overlong hood/windsock the the person was wearing.

Dean watched as the person landed daintily on the roof of the apartment building before disappearing out of his sight.

That was not normal. Not natural in any way, shape or form. In fact, one might even call it _supernatural._ Dean chuckled to himself while pushing away the worry that he might get up to Dave's apartment and find that either he or one of his weird friends was the person who was flying. At this point it was almost certain. It wasn't anything Dean was entirely willing to believe, however, he didn't want Dave to be abnormal, or freaky, or something he would (inevitably) have to kill.

Why couldn't he have one normal relationship? Why did everything have to be ridiculous and not human and horrible in general?

He groaned quietly and dragged his hand across his face. This was just ridiculous. He pulled out his phone and texted Dave.

[I accidentally ended up outside your apartment building. Mind if i stop by?]

He pocketed his phone and looked back up at the roof of the building, but it was quiet. The only thing to do now was wait until Dave texted him, it'd be pretty awkward to walk in and find out that Dave was out and only his brother was home. The one conversation he'd had with him was awkward enough as it was, and they had both been partially incapacitated by alcohol.

Thankfully, he didn't have to wait long.

{That's totally cool, dude. A couple of my loser friends are over right now, if you don't mind}

{And i say loser in the most loving way possible}

Dean couldn't help but smile. He didn't care how preposterous this relationship was, or what supernatural baggage it came with, he was glad he was a part of it. So he pocketed his phone and headed inside the building.

Sam and Cas were nowhere to be seen, so he figured they'd moved on and were interviewing people. Which was good. Progress and such. He headed for the elevator and pushed the button to get him to the top floor. As he moved slowly up the tall building he silently (or not so silently, he was alone after all) cursed the fact that he didn't pay attention to the number on Dave's apartment.

The elevator dinged and the doors opened to the poorly decorated hallway. Dean chuckled to himself as he walked into the hallway, silently reliving Dave's flustered comment about the decorations.

He scanned the hallway. All the doors looked the same. That figured. Dean cursed under his breath. This was so stupid. He would probably end up having to text Dave asking for his apartment number, which was something his pride would not let him do easily.

A door opened on his left and a girl with short blonde hair and heavy, dark makeup looked out. She smirked at Dean before throwing her head over her shoulder and yelling into the apartment, "DAVE! YOUR BOYFRIEND IS HERE!" She turned back to Dean and smiled politely. "Right this way, Dean." She turned, obviously anticipating that he would follow her in.

Which he did. With some reserve though, he only vaguely recognized the girl, and from the sounds coming from the interior of the apartment, something…. _interesting_ was going on.

The interior of the apartment was just as much of a disaster as Dean remembered it, though it did have a much different atmosphere when fully lit. And what's more is that there were about 5 times as many people in that apartment as should have been able to fit.

Four of the grey-skinned people were sitting on the living room couch in a heated game of Mario Kart. Dean vaguely recognized some of them-the grumpy one with the little horns (who was currently screaming profanities at everyone involved in the game), the spider-girl with the mismatched horns (who was getting way too into it, and was probably the cause of the grumpy one's anger), the clown one (who was honking intermittently), and the one with 3D glasses (who was totally silent, and honestly, probably winning). A few others gathered around them, cheering them on or purposely trying to distract them.

Dave came running into the room followed by the nerdy-looking dark haired boy (John maybe?). Dean had to swallow a gasp. John-Dean was going to call him John regardless of whether or not that was his real name-was wearing all blue, and a hood that reached to his feet, the same as the person Dean saw flying from roof to roof. Frak this.

"Dean! Hey, what's up? Sorry about the mess and all, have you met Rose?" Dave said as he stopped in front of Dean and gestured to the blonde girl who had let Dean in.

"I don't think so," Dean said.

"Well this is my sister, Rose. She's pretty cool, except when she's not." Dave smirked as Rose hit him playfully.

"It's good to meet you, Rose," Dean said. This was awkward.

"Likewise, Dean." Rose smiled at him, but Dean got the impression that it wasn't genuine. Not so much that she didn't like him or was forcing it, but that she knew something that he didn't. "Well, you two boys be good, I've got matters to attend to. Lunch for all these idiots isn't going to cook itself." She threw some sarcastic/cocky/Dean didn't quite know how to interpret it look to Dave who rolled his eyes.

"I apologize for her, she thinks she's pretty cool." Dave said.

"Nah it's fine, siblings are hard," Dean replied.

"So, uh, what brings you here today?" Dave asked, walking into the living room and plopping down on a beanbag that faced the intense Mario Kart battle. He gestured for Dean to join him.

"My brother had some business here, so I followed and figured I'd drop by." Dean shrugged, taking a seat next to Dave on the beanbag. He couldn't help but notice how the dynamic of the beanbag pressed them awfully close together-not that he was complaining or anything.

"What is your brother up to?" Dave asked, taking full advantage of their proximity and resting his head in the crook of Dean's neck.

"Oh you know, drug deals, pretending to be FBI, burglary, the norm." Dean smiled, and he could feel Dave chuckle against his chest.

"Sounds awesome," he said, lazily grabbing Dean's hand and intertwining their fingers.

"Uh, Dave?"

Both boys looked up behind them to see John standing there, shifting awkwardly from foot to foot. "Yes, John?" Dave asked. Dean internally fist-pumped for getting his name right.

"Terezi's wondering if you're going to come back to court."

"Uh…" Dave sighed. "Tell her that she should hang the judge, he's the corrupt one, not the one they're trying to convict. The judge called the court to disguise his own folly. I'll talk to her later, I'm busy now."

John's voice twisted into confusion. "Okay, but there's two new players on the scene and I don't think they're entirely innocent."

"In league with the judge?"

"No, with the convict."

"Ah…" Dave was quiet. "I'll talk to her later, I want to go over the evidence first."

"Okay, I'll tell her." John turned and walked away, his long, blue hood nearly dragging on the ground behind him. Dave settled back in against Dean's chest.

"What was that about?" Dean asked.

"Oh, Terezi-the blind one-has the whole intense-as-frak role-playing thing she does with all her stuffed dragons. She's obsessed with justice and the whole law system so she holds courts all the time and hangs people-well, dragons. John and I accidentally got mixed up in the latest court case, so that's what I've spent my entire morning doing."

"Wow." Dean really didn't have an appropriate response to this.

"Yeah-WOW KARKAT, WAY TO PLAY DIRTY," Dave called out to the screen and the people playing on it.

"Shut it, Strider," the grumpy grey-skinned boy shot back.

Dave chuckled quietly. "We were talking about something."

"Yeah, we were," Dean replied.

"Your brother! You were saying stuff about drug deals and what not. What is he actually doing?" Dave asked.

Dean was walking a thin path now. But, the best way to lie is to tell the truth. "He's a bit of a paranormal enthusiast, and heard some rumors about little black men terrorizing people, so he and my friend Cas are checking it out." Dean shrugged to the best of his ability and tried to appear disinterested.

"Little back men?" Dave snorted. "That's kind of ridiculous."

"Do you know anything about them?"

"Other than some weird rumors floating around? No not really." Dave said.

"Rumors about what, the imps?" The spider-girl said. "Really, they're frustrating as hell. Especially Jade's. The little frakkers can jump dimensions and are nearly impossible to kill."

Dean made a mental note. Clearly they did know about the gremlins-or imps.

"Jade's seen them?" Dave asked. He sounded surprised.

"Yeah-We're thinking that they personalize themselves for each person they come across," the one in the 3D glasses said. "Whatever they think the person will fear the most or have the most attachment to"

"Evidently we do know something about the little black men," Dave said.

Dean got the impression that there were a lot of lies floating around.

And everyone was just covering for each other's slip-ups.

Maybe this would be easier than he thought?


	4. Chapter 4

(A/N) so I recognize that it's been a while and that this chapter is quite a bit shorter, but this thing is almost done so bear with me for a bit, kay darlings? Also, i broke and started watching Supernatural again (it's literally been a year and a half, feel proud of me) so maybe hopefully Dean is less OOC. (he probably still is, i'm so sorry). Anywho, Chapter four! Enjoy!

* * *

"So, how exactly do you know about the, uh, imps?" Dean asked. They'd left an opening, so he figured he'd exploit it for all it was worth.

"It's pretty self-explanatory, isn't it? They attacked us, or some of us, at least," the spider-girl answered, with some degree of venom. "God Dave, where'd you find this guy?"

"At a bar."

The spider girl snorted, which may or may not have undermined her Mario-Kart-ing stability, because she soon launched into a stream of curses as the grumpy troll screamed victory.

Dave smirked, "Well, Vriska, if he causes you to get distracted so easily, maybe you should stop teasing me about where I got him and go find one yourself."

"OH BURN!" Someone yelled from the kitchen.

But Vriska was not to be beaten by this banter (if anything, she appeared to accept it as a challenge). "Dave, you see, I would, but I've already got someone infinitely better." Her eyes raked Dean over, and for the first time he noticed that her left eye had seven pupils. It was thoroughly unnerving, as was the confident, scrutinous smirk she wore as her eyes ravaged him. (the racers were waiting for the indecisive clown troll to pick a race). "For one, he's not a mortal, like your pet there. Sure he may be a bit of an idiot sometimes, but he knows his way around."

Dave stiffened, his breath catching in his throat. Dean squeezed his hand, recalling their discussion about Dave's aversion to John's girlfriend. Her openly obscene comment tugged at his heartstrings, and not just because he was the one being insulted. The comment about him being mortal however, sparked his memory of Cas' accusations toward Dave and his friends. While the angel had not outright said that they weren't mortal, he had said that they weren't quite human anymore. Immortality fit nicely into that category, and Dean stored the information away to tell his brother.

Dave recovered quickly and jumped to Dean's defense (so quick in fact, that Dean was almost positive everyone in the room had missed his reaction). "However "immortal" his skills may be, Vriska," Dave spat the name, which earned a raised eyebrow from the girl, "He's still just a boy, and I have a man."

"Wow Dave, I never took you for a slut. You've known him what, three days?" Vriska grinned, clearly thinking that she'd won the battle.

She kind of had. Dave spluttered, not quite knowing how to respond. He started about seven different sentences, abandoning each about halfway through the second word. Dean decided to step in for him (that's what boyfriends are for, right?)

"While I'd love to sit here and talk about my better qualities," He began, "I don't take kindly to being objectified." He looked Vriska in the eyes (x8?), trying to push as much of the bloodlust and venom he knew hid there into his own eyes. "And I'll have you know that I'm twice the man you take me for, in all respects." And I've probably killed things meaner than you without breaking a sweat, he finished in his head.

He was pleased when Vriska backed the frak off. She almost looked scared. Almost. Her confident, snarky smirk adorned her face within seconds. "Can't argue with a hunter, can I?" She said, turning back to the starting race.

A hunter? How had she known? There's no way she could have, unless she was one of the ones tailing him and Sam, or they'd all found out way too much way too fast. Or she could be making some joke regarding the flannel and the whole lumber-jack stereotype… but that was significantly less likely. He was treading on thin ice now, he just needed to figure out what they knew without letting on how much he knew. Which, he supposed, was the original plan, but now infinitely more complicated. This would all be so much simpler if they were just straight with each other, because clearly neither party was innocent.

"Dude, don't let her get to you," Dave said, squeezing Dean's hand. "She has that effect on a lot of people."

Yeah, but how'd she know? And speaking of that, how the heck would Dave know that she was getting to him? He was so far behind in this game, it was getting a little ridiculous. Time to probe for answers. You know, to basically everything.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately, he very easily could have made a fool of himself), before he could open his mouth, someone from the kitchen yelled something over the noise. "Everyone, if you value lunch, get into the kitchen now because it's going to go fast!"

Dave practically shot out of the beanbag, dragging Dean up by their still-linked hands. "Coming, Mom!" He called, smirking something horrible.

"Dave, I'm not-ugh, there's no point to this argument anymore, is there?" One of the trolls said. She had short, neatly styled hair and mismatched horns. She was wearing a black, long sleeve shirt and a red, full-length skirt.

"Probably not," Dave said, taking a seat at the kitchen bar. Dean took the seat next to him as the room filled in with people, some taking seats at the bar, others clearing the mess of weaponry off the kitchen table and taking seats there, while the rest crowded into the kitchen.

"So we've got sandwiches in three flavors, nobody touch the pie, it's Gamzee's, and if you're not happy with this, you can make your own damn lunch." The same female troll said.

"Somebody's feeling vicious today," Dave's sister, Rose, said. She kissed the toll girl lightly on the cheek. "Help yourselves."

"Sweeeet," Dave said, grabbing a half-sandwich off of one of the plates and passed it to Dean, before taking one for himself. "You're not picky, right?"

"Hell no. Food is the reason I live," Dean replied before digging in. It was surprisingly fantastic. He couldn't say that he recognized all of the ingredients present, but it was delicious, so he wasn't complaining or anything.

"So. I hate to bring this up, but we really need to do something about the imps," the troll with the 3D glasses said.

"We are doing something. We've got people out trying to find them and round them up, don't we?" Rose asked.

3D shook his head. "We did, but Terezi got sidetracked and now they're running rampant again." Dean could have sworn that a few of the people in the room glared at him.

The short-haired troll girl crossed her arms over her chest and leaned up against the counter. "So what you're saying is that we all have to call our vacation off because Terezi can't do her freaking job?"

"Not necessarily," Jade bounced in from the other room. She had dog ears again, and was wearing the black dress with the striped tights. The grumpy troll shot her a quizzical look and she wiggled her fluffy ears before continuing (she wiggled them? Were they an actual functioning part of her? At this point, Dean didn't doubt it). "There's a lot of us, and God knows we have experience. If we can lure them somewhere it won't take long to wipe them out."

"How do you plan to round them up?" Dean asked.

"Can we bait them?" John asked.

"Hard to say, I've never tried," 3D said.

"That's very thmart, Thollux!" came a yell from the hallway as the blind troll emerged. She was wearing a red dragon cape and carrying a piece of red chalk. (Terezi, right?) "And Dave, I don't understand why I should hang the judge. She's done nothing wrong!"

Dave sighed. "You've done just as much wrong as anybody else in that goddamn court, Terezi."

"Yes, maybe, but the two new guys!"

"Hopefully won't get involved!"

Dean's phone buzzed-a text from Sam. He opened it, leaving Dave to argue with Terezi about the politics of Dragons.

{They're everywhere, but we have no solid leads. Any luck?}

Rose and her girlfriend were getting into the argument as well, but Dean really didn't have any idea what was going on. Something about how they were getting themselves involved and this was really all Dave's fault and if he hadn't brought a rat into the house we wouldn't be holding court in the first place. Dean started to wonder if he wasn't the rat in the house.

[sadly yes. Theyre calling them imps and aparently theyve fought them before]

{*Apparently}

[Shut up sammy]

{Any way to kill them?}

[Were discussing that right now, give me a minute]

{okay}

"What do you think, Dean?" Dave asked.

"I, uh," Dean put his phone away and looked around at the faces turned to him. "Sorry, what? I was texting my brother."

"You said your brother was into paranormal stuff right?" 3D asked. "Do you think that'll get him into trouble?"

Oh gosh. Define trouble. "It has, in the past. If these, uh, imps are as dangerous as you say they are, then I'd worry about him." Nice answer. Vague, yet true, yet unassuming and innocent. *fist pump*

"This is so much harder when we're all pretending that we're normal," Terezi grumbled. Dean silently agreed with her. Clearly they're not normal, and god knows he and Sam weren't normal. If they were all straight (ha. straight) with each other this would be so much easier.

"Are we still pretending we're normal? I wasn't aware. I thought we were discussing tiny, black, other-worldly imps and how to kill them," Vriska sneered.

"Well, that too," Dave said. "Is your brother aware that these things are real, and not like, ghosts or some shit like that?"

Dean had to choke back a laugh. "I'm not sure. He's never chased anything like them."

"Should we distract him or team up with him?" the short-haired troll girl said. (Dean really needed to figure out her name). "It'd be quite the shock to find out that the paranormal are real, but if he has any information that we don't he'll be useful, and it would be easier to take care of this if we aren't fighting him off as well as the imps."

Rose gave her girlfriend a look-almost of disdain-before saying, "If we drag him into this, how easy will it be to pass you guys off as normal? If he's a paranormal enthusiast he'll never leave you alone."

"Actually," Dean almost hated himself for talking, "He's already settled on your case. When Dave and I-" started dating? Were they dating? The thought gave him an awful twisting sensation in his stomach "-when I first came here he was a little concerned about all the rumors, but Dave explained it to me and I explained it to him, so more than likely, he'll leave you alone." I can't say the same for Cas, though.

3D nodded. "I think it'll be easier if he's with us. It's much easier to pacify meddlers when you are in direct contact with them."

"Hey!" Dean was almost offended.

"Sollux is right. For once." Terezi grinned. (So 3D was named Sollux? Weird but okay.) "Let's bring Dave's brother-in-law up here and screw up this shitstorm more than we already have. It'll be fun, right?"

No. no it wouldn't be fun. It would probably be a disaster, honestly.

"Right…" Dave cast a wary glance at Dean. "Do you want to call him?"

"Uh…Yeah. Yeah I should do that." this was such a bad idea. "I'll just step out into the hall real quick." Dean climbed off of the barstool and began making his way toward the door.

Dave was at his side within seconds. "Do you want me to…?" he left the question open, one hand resting on Dean's forearm and his expression sheepish behind his overlarge glasses.

Dean shook his head. "Nah, I think I can talk to Sam on my own." Dave's hand fell off his arm, but Dean caught it and gave it a small squeeze. Dave's hands were so soft, he was so soft. So soft and so lovely… Dean leaned forward and kissed him softly.

"You're ridiculous," Dave breathed as they broke away.

Dean smirked. "Yeah, but you love me for it." Love was a strong word, but Dave either didn't notice or didn't care because he grinned right back and kissed Dean again.

"Go call your brother, you big dork." Dave let go of his hand and practically pushed him out the door.

Dean leaned up against the wall next to the door to Dave's apartment, his phone to his ear, waiting for Sam to pick up. Which he did, eventually.

"Hello?"

"Hey, Sammy, it's me. We've got a bit of a situation up here, and I'm actually going to need your help." Dean said. On second thought, he could have worded that better.

"You _what?_ What's going on? No—no, Cas, he's fine, calm down."

Dean laughed to himself as he heard what could only be noises of protest from the angel. "So, I said they knew the imps, right? Well, to cover our butts, I told them you were a paranormal enthusiast—" Sam snorted "—and were investigating the things. So they said that they should involve you, because maybe you had info they didn't and also to keep you from meddling. Take it for what you will."

Sam was quiet. "So what you're saying, is that we're being invited into a hunt?"

"Yeah sort of. You need to get up here and tell Cas to keep his cool. We're all still pretending that we're normal, so no crazy stunts."

"And where are you?"

"Top floor. I'm standing outside the door, so I'll see you."

"Okay then. See you in a few." Sam hung up.

He and Cas were headed up. And they would meet and interact with Dave and his "friends." And the lot of them would go and hunt the imps (or whatever they were), all while pretending they were totally normal.

What could go wrong?


	5. Chapter 5

(A/N) hey! so last chapter, you guys! sorry that this took me so long. i got distracted by school. and such. you know the drill. Anywho, so this is finally over. wow. what a ride, right? Thank all of you for sticking it out to the bitter end with this story! i appreciate it so much! (also it'd do you good to at least read the last three sentences of Ch. 4 before you dive into this. that is, if you're as forgetful as me. If you're not, then I applaud you).

* * *

Evidently a lot could go wrong.

They had, at least, managed to round up the imps (or at least attract them. They'd "rounded up" like, two, but more and more just kept coming, so Dean decided to count that as a victory) and were currently fighting them with minimal difficulty. Unfortunately, "minimal difficulty" was a bit of an understatement. The little buggers came in about a million different shapes and sizes and required just as many methods to kill them.

Dean, Sam, and Cas had decided to play it down before the fight started. You know, lay low, don't let anyone know you've been constantly fighting things since you were a kid and can kill practically anything the world throws at you. They had a few guns (standard ammunition, apparently the imps/gremlins/whatever the hell they were weren't affected by silver bullets any more than normal ones, so Sam decided they'd better be conservative and all), a few knives/daggers (Dean brought the demon-killing one, but Sam glared at him enough to convince him not to use it except as a last resort. And they had given Cas… well. He had an angel blade, they told him not to use too many angelic powers, and just hoped it wasn't too conspicuous.

Of course, Dave's friends had to go and one-up them. There was such a hodgepodge of weaponry, Dean didn't really know how to count it all up. Dave had a sword that should have (logically) been too heavy for him to wield, his sister had (heaven help her) a pair of knitting needles, there were a couple of nutjobs with rifles, the angry troll had a scythe, John had a hammer, that once again, probably was too big for normal physics to apply to it, and Rose's girlfriend had a chainsaw. That she'd pulled out of a lipstick case. (Dean had given up asking questions a long time ago).

Everything had started out relatively normal. Under control. Only two imps had shown up initially. It had been a little weird, because the twenty or so of them just stared at the two little black gremilins looking at each other and wondering who was going to off them. (Dean had finally just shot one and John had taken a hammer to the other one). But then more just kept coming. And Dean really didn't know how to cope with them. Because they were kind of squishy? But some of them were fluffy? And some were wearing really absurd harlequin clothes and some of them could fly, and some of them were dragons and honestly, this was one of the weirdest things he'd ever done.

He'd quickly discovered that most of them could be killed with a gun, except for a few. I mean, they could be killed with a gun but once you shot them you both phased out of this reality and to somewhere entirely different and that happened like, 8 times before the bastard finally died. So Dean started avoiding the ones with dog ears, and let the dog ear girl take care of them. Because she seemed reasonably able to.

...

The scene was a bloody mess. Like, there was blood everywhere. Blood and bodies and more and more imps just kept _coming_. Dean had the feeling that everyone had stopped trying to be discreet some time ago. Rose's girlfriend had gone to town with the chainsaw, fangs bared; Rose had her back and was casting spells with her knitting needles (wands?) like there was no tomorrow. Which, Dean realized, there might not be. (there's always a possibility that tomorrow won't come, regardless of the circumstances.) John, spider troll, and Jade (dog ears) were literally flying around killing things with god knows what. And nobody else was even trying to hide any of their supernatural abilities. Dean was just glad Sam and Cas hadn't turned on any of them yet.

Speaking of, the three of them had also given up the whole "normal" facade. Cas was practically glowing with angel juice, and every time the light caught is back just right, Dean could see his wings-his torn and fragile, but still powerful, wings. The sight of it made his heart lurch with sympathy. If only he could do something. Sam was just as ruthless as ever. Hair flowing in the wind (Dean really should just cut it. It was so inconvenient for people of their profession, he'd probably be so much happier if it was just short again), and _that face_ that he always got when he was fighting.

As for Dean and Dave? The two of them were back to back (as they could be) fighting with all the ferocity of the power couple they were. Dean couldn't help but notice that somewhere between the beginning of the fight and now, Dave had gained a flowing crimson cape as well as a matching set of...pajamas? Honestly, he wasn't going to question it, because Dave looked hot, so really, what was there to complain about? He was also a master with that sword, as ridiculous as it looked (Dean would have to get him to show it to him after, you know, once they'd sorted this whole crapfest out). Dean himself, had resorted largely to the demon knife, as the blasted imps were a little too close range to effectively get them with the gun. And yes, the imps weren't exactly demons, but they did die and fizzle when stabbed, so he decided not to question good fortune and just went with it.

Dean had been in a lot of long fights before, but this thing was getting to be borderline marathon fighting. He was sweating buckets (he'd actually shed his plaid over shirt, tossing it aside when he had a half second respite from the gruelling battle. It had earned an eyebrow raise from Dave), and the end seemed nowhere near. And, as we mentioned earlier, there was no way this was methodical. Each imp, though most could be simply stabbed through their round, squishy faces, had to be sized up and analyzed for what it was and what he needed to do to off it (toss the dog-eared ones aside, there were a few that needed to be strangled, he tried to avoid the spider ones altogether, etc.). So basically there was no way to fall into a rhythm. It was just mayhem. Plain as that.

"Hey, darling, how you farin'?" Dave said after they had collided into each other back to back.

"Peachy," Dean said, kicking one away from him and using Dave as leverage. "You?"

"Never been better." Dean could practically hear the smile behind his voice. "You forget how much you miss this when the weight of the world isn't hanging on you, you know?"

"Yeah, I get that." more than you know, he finished in his head. "Bet I've got a higher kill count than you."

"Well shit! I haven't been counting, you bastard, you can't pull that kind of a thing on me," Dave exclaimed, spinning away from Dean, leaving a cold spot on his back, to decapitate a couple of crab-like imps that were getting a little too close.

"Tell you what, we start counting now." Dean wiped a drip of blood off his cheek (it was a bit counterproductive, as there was more on his hands).

Dave laughed. "And what do I get when I win?"

"Depends on what you want from me."

Dave through him a dirty smirk. "Depends on what you're offering."

"Oh baby," Dean paused to decapitate a small, tentacle cat imp, "I'm offering everything."

"You two are disgusting!" Rose yelled from across the rooftop.

"You know you love us!" Dave yelled back.

Dean chuckled to himself before spinning around to shoot a crabby imp that was getting a little too close. It actually looked like things were thinning out a bit, which was shocking. Nice too, but shocking. He'd been fighting for so long, it almost seemed like he'd be doing it for the rest of eternity. But lo, the end was in fact, in sight. Light at the end of the tunnel and all that.

He also decided that the shirt he was wearing was probably just going to have to go to the dumpster. It was so coated in blood, there was no saving it. He'd probably have to shower eight times to get it all out of the cracks of his skin and hair…

Somehow, in the chaos, he'd lost track of Dave. Not that he was worried, the guy could take care of himself (who are we kidding? He was totally worried). There were about enough imps to make a 2:1 ratio, so Dean took that as his chance to look around (after stabbing one through the head and discarding its body at his feet next to its fallen brethren). Suddenly, Dave's choice of attire was less hot and more bothersome. Coated in blood, everyone was wearing red, so he wasn't that easy to pick out. Dean cursed under his breath and spun around the other way. He was almost startled by the large dragon-like imp in his face. Almost. He stabbed it in the nose, which made it rear back and hiss in pain, giving him enough room to shoot it squarely in the chest. And head. It flopped over dead, at least.

"Dave?" he called out over the dying fray.

"I'm here!" cam the muffled reply. Dean ran toward the sound to find that Dave had fallen under one of the larger, fishy, tentacle-covered imps. "Help a pal out, would you?" he said, pushing one of his hands out from under the dying mess of a thing. Dean grabbed his hand with both of his, their fingers, wet with blood, sliding against each other. He pulled, and Dave clambered to freedom, falling against Dean's chest once he'd stood up.

"Are you alright?" Dean asked, hugging his (boyfriend?) closer to him and running a hand through his blood-soaked hair.

"Fine, yeah. You smell awful."

"I could say the same to you. You smell like organs."

Dave laughed. "And I assume you've had excessive experience smelling organs?"

"Yes, actually. I'm full of surprises."

Dave looked up and squished their noses against each other. "I know you are. You'll have to show me more of those surprises later." He pecked him lightly on the lips. "When you don't taste like rot."

"Oh shut up," Dean laughed, pushing Dave off of him. Dave stumbled backward, a stupid grin on his face, the setting sun glaring brightly off his aviators and glinting on what was still showing of his white hair. Dean couldn't help but feel lucky, even bathed in blood, Dave was beautiful when he was smiling. Especially when he was smiling like he didn't have a care in the world, smiling like he was the happiest man on earth.

" _Shit!_ Dave! Turn around!" Dean yelled, noticing, too late, the imp sneaking up behind him.

There really was nothing he could have done. Dave spun around just in time for the imp to skewer him through the stomach. Dean could vaguely hear himself screaming. Yelling maybe? The imp still had the end of its long, spiny claw inside Dave, who was looking down in disbelief. Dean was moving. Too slowly, it felt like. He pushed past Dave, putting a hand on his shoulder to push him out of the way. The fabric of his shirt (cape?) was dry and crusted with blood, and scraped against his hand. He had his knife in his hand. He shoved into the imp's head. Its skin squished around the blade, and bright red blood spurted from the wound as Dean yanked his knife out and kicked the imp to the ground.

He turned back to Dave in time to see him crumple to the ground, his hands clasped over his abdomen. He lurched over and caught him between the shoulderblades before he hit the ground. Dave coughed, blood spurting from his mouth.

"Dave? Oh God Dave I'm so sorry." Dean said, laying Dave's head gently on the concrete. "Here, let me see it, maybe there's something I can do…" Dean cursed under his breath. There was nothing he could do, he didn't have anything to stitch the wound back together, it was all in the car. Even if Sam had something, it would probably be too late.

"No, Dean. It's fine. I'm fine," Dave spluttered through a mouthful of blood.

"I hate to break it to you, but you're really not. God, Dave, this is all my fault. I'm so sorry." Dean could feel a lump rising in his throat and fought to push it back. He hated crying. He looked away from Dave's face, hoping that would help. It really didn't.

"Dean. Darling. Sweetheart." Dave coughed again, spitting blood onto Dean's face. "It's okay. It's-" he coughed again. And again. And wheezed through his obviously quickly closing airway.

"Dave stay with me," Dean pleaded, putting his hand over Dave's and pressing them into his wound, hoping to stop the bleeding. It wouldn't help. Dave would choke on his own blood before he died of bloodloss. "Dave! Stay with me, please!"

It really was too late. Dave's breaths were ragged and wet-when he could take them at all. His coughing was weaker, and it eventually ended. He breathed out one last time. It wasn't poetic at all. The breath pushed its way through his clogged lungs and dribbled more blood out of his mouth. His head lolled to the side and his hand went limp in Dean's. Unfortunately, the lump in Dean's throat won the battle, and he choked out a sob.

He could hear footsteps splashing toward him, and John's voice yelling...something. He wished he could say that Dave looked peaceful in death, but he really didn't.

"Was it Heroic?" Oh. That's what John wanted to know. "His death, was it heroic?" he stopped at Dave's feet, and Dean looked up at him.

"What?"

"Did he die a heroic death?" John sounded frantic. "You know. Did he save you? Take a hit for you? For anyone else? Was his death heroic?"

Why on earth…? "No. he was practically stabbed in the back!" Dean spat. And it's all because of me…

Relief flooded John's face. "Oh thank gog. I was so worried. He really likes you, so I knew it was a possibility." John smiled. "Honestly, this is just like him. So dramatic."

Okay... _what._ "What? Dave just _died."_ Dean spat, hoping John didn't hear the crack in his voice.

John waved his hand dismissively. "Just give him a minute."

Just then, Sam ran up. "The imps are all dead, what's going on-oh God, Dean, I'm so sorry."

"I said, just give him a minute," John said, crossing his arms over his chest.

"Do you think we can get Cas to heal him? How long has he been dead?" Sam asked. Dean winced, Cas would probably be less-than-happy to play the role of healer here. He didn't like Dave so much for some reason or other.

"I _said_ just give him a minute!" John said, throwing his arms in the air. "Honestly, what is wrong with you people? Can you not comprehend a simple request?"

"Just give him a minute? He's dead, John!" Dean said. He didn't notice how hard he was squeezing Dave's hand.

"Yes but," John held up a finger. "He didn't die a heroic death. Or a just death, for that matter."

"What the hell does that have to do with anything?" Sam asked.

"Is Dave dead again?" Rose called

"Yeah, it's okay though. We've got the situation under control!" John yelled back at her, giving her a thumbs up.

"Okay, what the _hell-"_

"Babe. you're cutting off the circulation to my fingers," Dave said, cutting Dean off.

"I-what? Sorry." Dean let go of his hand and stared in disbelief at Dave who was smirking something awful and trying to wipe blood off his face.

"Help me sit up, would you?" Dave asked.

Dean grabbed him behind the shoulder and propped him up. "Are you...what happened?"

Dave winced. "Right. Uh. I'm immortal?"

"Me too." John chimed in. "If we're coming clean, I mean. Are we coming clean."

"Yeah, we are," Sam said. "What do you mean immortal?"

"I mean you can kill me, but I won't stay dead unless my death is heroic or just. So don't expect me to take a bullet for any of you people." Dave said, smirking and slapping Dean's thigh. "It hurts like hell though. Did we win?"

"Yeah, we got them all." John grinned.

"A celebration is in order!" Rose called from across the rooftop, to the cheers of many.

"Good." Dave looked at Dean and hooked a few fingers in the collar of shirt. "You've got some explaining to do, boy. And we've got to get cleaned up. I refuse to celebrate in this mess."

Dean smiled back at him. "I was hoping you'd say that."

"You two are disgusting." Sam said, fighting a smile.

/\/\/\/

"So your friend is an angel, and you met satan, and the king of hell, and you kill things for a living? That's pretty intense." Dave said, pulling a shirt on over his bare (and newly cleaned) chest.

"Yeah. It's fine though. I mean, you were stuck in a videogame for years on end and died, how many times?"

"Frick man, I don't know. And I could say the same to you." Dave smiled at Dean, his red eyes shining in the artificial light. "We seem to have a lot in common."

Dean laughed. "More than I expected, certainly."

"Not that I'm disappointed or anything," Dave said, grabbing Dean by the back of the neck and kissing him lazily. "I think it's fantastic."

"I think you're fantastic," Dean said, planting a kiss on Dave's jawline as he looped his hands around his waist.

"I think you're a sap." Dave said, finding Dean's mouth again.

"And I think you two need to get out of the bathroom! There are other people in this house that need a shower!" Vriska yelled from outside.

"Chill! We're almost done!" Dave yelled before turning back to Dean and pecking him one last time on the lips. "Guess we're getting kicked out."

"I guess so." Dean smiled. "It's a pity though, I was having so much fun…"

Dave laughed and pushed himself off of Dean's chest. "Hey, we've got all the time in the world. We can certainly find time to pick this up again."

Right. Time. Now that the hunt was over, Sam would be itching to leave. It was the first time Dean really didn't want to. So he smiled and followed his albino boyfriend out of the bathroom and into the livingroom of the small apartment (which had been sort of cleaned up. The mess had been pushed to the corners of the room, at least). He found Sam deep in conversation with Rose about some nerdy intellectual stuff, he and Dave both rolled their eyes at that. Cas looked so out-of-place, though. Kanaya was kind of trying to comfort him (she seemed like the momish type) but it wasn't really working.

"Hold on, I've got to go comfort my angel. He's got his feathers all in a tussle," Dean said, letting go of Dave's hand and walking over to Cas. "Cas, buddy. What's up?"

"I…" Cas' eyes flitted around the room. "I'm not comfortable in social situations, Dean."

Dean almost laughed. He clapped Cas on the shoulder. "Hey, it's all okay. I'm here, right? You know me. You know Sam. We're not going to let anything happen to you." Cas looked at him like he'd just declared that the ground they were standing on was made of cake.

Dave walked up behind him and took his hand, intertwining their fingers. "It's okay if you want to leave," he shrugged. "Bro sure as hell won't be offended and neither will anyone here. You've probably got some important angel business, don't you. I won't hold you back."

"I, uh, yes." Cas' eyes locked with Dean's. Like he was trying to say something. "I'll see you two soon." he glanced at Dave. "You and Sam, that is."

Dean half-laughed. "Okay, Cas. See you soon." Cas nodded and flickered away.

"That's what happened that night…?"

"Yeah. He's flying, technically. Angel powers and all."

"Right." Dave nodded, before pulling Dean over to their beanbag in front of the TV where someone had started a movie. Some sapfest that Dean had never seen.

As they were passing the counter, Sam stopped him. "We're leaving tomorrow morning. Just warning you," He said, nodding.

"Yeah, right. Gotcha." Dean said, then followed Dave to the beanbag, where they collapsed, legs tangled and Dave's head on Dean's chest, tucked under his chin.

"You're leaving tomorrow?"

Dean sighed. "Yeah. we can't stay in one place for too long. Duty calls, you know?"

"Mmhmm." Dave went quiet, tracing patterns on the back of Dean's hand that had previously been intertwined with his own. This was so comfortable. And...safe. Dean loved the feeling of having Dave tucked into him. Having someone to hold and someone who would hold him back. For a long time the only sound was the movie and the sounds of light conversation from the kitchen. More than once, Dean was sure Dave had fallen asleep on his chest.

"Dean?"

"Yes, Dave?"

"I hate to say this, but maybe it's a good thing you're leaving. Because me and my friends, we can't stay in this dream-bubble forever. We have to go back soon. And you… I think you'll be really happy with Cas."

"Dave. Cas and I aren't-"

"Shoosh. I know. I've seen the way you two look at each other. Stay in denial all you want, lover boy, but there's something there."

Dean rolled his eyes. "Can I not live in the moment for more than ten minutes? I already know all this fatalistic stuff. I just want one night where I don't have to think about it."

"I still think you should consider it. You two would be great together."

"And we aren't?"

Dave scoffed. "No. we're bloody fantastic. And you're right, we should get one night to ourselves. So here's to not thinking about the fatalistic stuff."

"Here here." Dean said, smiling.

Dave snuggled closer against him, tucking the blanket he'd procured some minutes ago around their chins. And that's how they fell asleep. Content with each other's company, without a care in the world, and with the quiet noises of their friends to lull them asleep.

.

.

.

 _Fin~_


End file.
